i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
