...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
