I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
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She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
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Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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