I want to have your abortion
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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