K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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