Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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