According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
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Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
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Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize