if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
