I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
