Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
