Your mouth is God's brothel.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
