Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
