I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
