Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
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From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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