so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
