Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
