I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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