I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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