forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
