i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Randomize
