I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
