i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
True college students do jello shots in the library
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