I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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