Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
