two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize