I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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