You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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