No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
