You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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