is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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