so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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