first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
