Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
