So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
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I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
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The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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