Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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