yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
