i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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