Well douche your snatch and let's go!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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