Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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