Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
