girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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