no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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