Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
