She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
