Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
