is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
