Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
