bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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