I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
