New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
