I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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