i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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