never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
