This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
