My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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