feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
